The Unica Hija’s Mom

I’m writing a series of posts focused on my family. I want my readers to know me. I wanted to start with some other article but decided to work on this one first.

For those who were once teenage moms out there, go ahead and read my story that you could surely relate to. For those who are in this situation right now, hopefully the chapter of my life on this one will enlighten you and give you hope and joy.

Why start with this?

Me and My Unica Hija in Singapore

For the reason that my unica hija is turning 20 by next week. She won’t belong to the teenage population anymore. She will be among those who still wish that their age ended up in teen. And so they say they’re twenteen 🙂

Only 30ish and I already have a 20 year old daughter!!!

Yes I had her when I barely turned 17. At that very young age when I was supposed to be still playing with my friends, I was already playing with my own kid.

I learned to be responsible at a very young age. You could imagine (or you could probably not) how it was to be only 17 and breastfeeding a baby. Although I was able to take care of some nieces and nephews prior to having a baby but it wasn’t anywhere like this at all.

I remember my sister said when she learned that I was pregnant at the age of 16,

“You’re still our baby, and now you’re having a baby already.”

I could say that my family was really disappointed. But what could I do? A baby was already inside my womb. It was definitely an unwanted pregnancy at the start but as my belly swelled and my baby began to move inside me, I learned to love the baby I didn’t know yet.

The day I gave birth was one of the hardest and happiest days of my life

On Sept. 24, 1992 I gave birth to a beautiful, skinny daughter. I didn’t grow big while I was pregnant. We named her Fareed Alyahna and she hasn’t been skinny since she was a month old 🙂

I had a very painful labor process which started at 4am and I gave birth at 5:30pm. I had a natural method of delivery. My family said that I had to feel it so I wouldn’t repeat it. And they were right. I didn’t have another baby in 8 years.

I was happy too. Having a baby girl was what her father wanted and I felt like I was able to give him his wishes.

What was I like as a teenage mom?

I have 3 sisters and they all had their own families. I have stayed with them for quite some time. I saw how they brought up their kids. When it was my time to become a first time mom I thought seriously of what I wanted to be like.

I wanted to teach my daughter the sense of responsibility that I learned at a very young age. As I lived with different families I learned how to get along with other people. I knew how to help in the household chores. I knew how to work independently.

And my daughter was able to learn to become responsible even at a very young age too. I was a disciplinarian and I wanted things done the right way the first time you do it. She was responsible of her actions and knew that every thing she does has a consequence. We had a rule of reward and punishment.

I was a strict mom especially when she was getting older and becoming a lady. I had to tell her my life story when she was already  able to understand it, hoping that she would learn from them. And thanks God she did. She didn’t follow in my footsteps.

She was more matured at the way she looked at things. And more careful because of what happened to me. I’m glad that

“history didn’t repeat itself to us”.

I was a guiding mom. I never fail to remind her the do’s and don’t’s in life. And I always had our one on one, heart to heart talks where she would tell me her deepest secrets we wouldn’t even tell her dad. But these were petty secrets, not much to make anyone worried.

These secrets bonded us together firmly and joyfully. She knew she had a confidant in me. How do I know this? Because she tells her friends to tell me if they have a problem because she knew I would be willing to help them too if needed.

“I was a cool mom.”

I’ve heard this a lot of times from my daughter and her friends. And I surely do love hearing this line over and over again. To be a cool mom would mean that I have met the standards of a teenage child.

I was strict and a disciplinarian but she still found me cool. And so did her friends. Hooray for me!

BS in Psychology 2012 from PLM

She has already graduated from college last March. Her father and I were the happiest persons that day. Having her while we were still in college and then seeing her graduate with a degree in Psychology with no major problems was quite an accomplishment for both of us.

And we are so thankful to God for guiding us to the right path and showing us how to take care of our daughter even when we could hardly take care of ourselves.

Now that she’s already working on her first job we’re still here for her. I always find the chance to talk to her about work, about life, about suitors and crushes. I want her to have a balance in her life. She’s learned from everything that I’ve taught her. She’s a good child indeed.

Even at almost 20, we still fetch her from her office or from a party or the malls if she hangs around till late at night. She may be old already but our parenting doesn’t stop there. She’s happy and we’re happy too with the way we do things in our family.

We have family movie time whether in the theater or just at home. These are times that we all look forward to even up to now.

She grew up to be a happy child, responsible, respectful of elders, obedient, smart… she has definitely exceeded my expectation and became the role model of most of my siblings for their kids too.

She’s an elder sister to 2 boys aged 12 and 10 now. She’s their boss too 🙂

So were you able to relate to my story? I’d love to know how it turned out for you. Leave your comments below.

We surely need to read stories that inspire and enlighten us in one way or another. I may be good with my life right now but I’m hoping my daughter will have a better life. Planning to have a family is essential for success.

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Author: Bai Tender

Has worked as Executive Assistant to the President of different companies in the corporate world. Currently working as Virtual Assistant to foreign clients. Loving the flexibility of working from home while taking care of the family.

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