Who’s my dream reader? Hhmmm I’m not sure but I tend to share stories of my life, my kids, my parenting style and I’d probably want fellow moms/dads/parents to read these. I also would like to think that children of all ages can relate to my blog too.
I want to be able to share my experiences in raising up my three kids especially that my eldest is already 22, working full time and studying post graduate (Law). I have a girl and 2 boys who are in their teen (14) and pre-teen (12) both in high school.
I’m hoping that my experiences as well as those of others like my family and friends will inspire my readers. I can’t necessarily give tips… mine would rather be my 2 cents worth… being honest with my feelings and views… that readers could be able to relate to.
Now I’ve decided that this post would just explain who I think would be able to relate to the stuff that I write about. So see you all here 🙂
This is somewhat hard for me as I am for death penalty and I am researching for my daughter who’s assigned to the “against death penalty team”. I am to search for the clamor and financial aspects.
Why am I doing this?
She’s in the office working from Monday to Friday 8am onwards as a Recruitment Specialist in the Human Resources Department. She just had her midterm exam in the Legal Ethics subject last Tuesday from 6-9pm. She has been reviewing so hard since last week taking Cobra energy drink to be able to study the whole night.
She will also have her midterm exams on Saturday for the other 2 subjects (she’s only taking 3 this semester). One of her subjects’ midterm is a debate. Her team’s topic is about death penalty in the Philippines and as I said they are rooting for the against factors.
She has already informed me about this last week. She texted me earlier and asked for my help in doing the research. She needs the outline, facts and basis but she will come up with the explanation and conclusion.
I have 3 kids and they are in post graduate school (Bachelor of Law), Grade 8 and Grade 6 respectively. As a mom I have always assisted them in their homeworks. It’s more like I’m also studying with them. That means I have gone through preschool and primary for 4 times, thrice in secondary, twice in college and now taking up Law. I’ve included my own learning in those figures. I did not take up Law so this is my first 🙂
I guess every mom whether working full time or not have experienced this. We never cease to learn and re-learn the lessons in school as long as we have kids. No matter if our kids are very smart or just average there will always be those times when they will ask us to help them out with their homeworks and not to mention projects as well.
I say moms because I’m a mom but my husband helps in the homework and project chores as well. He teaches math to our kids. That’s his forte. And the rest of the subjects are mine. Unfair, right? I know 🙂 And he does the hard projects especially those needing some construction tools like hammer, nails, screwdrivers, saw and wood. I get the stitching (though I’m not good at it at all), drawing (my kids do the drawing and I just guide and cheer on them), poem creation and simpler stuff.
“Seek knowledge from cradle to grave.”
I’ve always lived by these words ever since I was a kid. I’ve heard it somewhere before and have never forgotten about it. This is applicable for knowledge from school and knowledge from life and everything there is to it.
In work, I never say no to tasks given to me. If I don’t know how to do it I do some research. We are now in the internet age and we’re so lucky. Finding things are easier these days than during my school days where I had to go to the library and research from books, books and lots of books.
Back to my research
Well, as of this writing I’ve taken a bit of a break from doing my research about death penalty. The few minutes blogging plus the coffee and black velvet cake I had (the cake is courtesy of my daughter who gave it last night. Probably a bribe? Hhmmm…) would probably give me the energy to get back to my research 🙂
We always think of gifts as something in material nature. I’m sure a toy or a gadget or clothes and shoes are the first things that come into your mind when you think of gifts for your kids.
I thought that way too when my daughter was younger. I always thought of giving her toys that her other friends had. I gave her things that I thought I would have wanted and liked when I was a young girl myself. And yes, she was happy with those gifts.
What made me change my mind?
Living in a place about 2 hours of travel time away from her cousins made her miss them so much. What my hubby and I did was to make the effort to visit her cousins almost every weekend.
We would bring her to the office on Saturdays because we both had work from 8am till 12pm. Then we would have lunch in the mall and then go straight to her cousins. We would bring some donuts and chocolate or juice drinks in tetra packs for their snack when we arrived there.
This could be simple gestures but my daughter and her cousins surely loved seeing each other on those weekends and sharing the simple snacks that we brought them.
This is when I came to realize that this is one of the simple things that we could give to our child that she would enjoy so much at the moment and cherish for the rest of her lives.
The Gift of Experience
I came to call it the gift of experience. Whatever she experienced during these visits I’m sure she would forever cherish. Because of our efforts we taught her how to value her relationship with her cousins (and aunts and uncles as well).
She had cousins who had more than her and some who had less. But she treated all of them the same way. The size of the house or the number of toys or the kinds of appliances and gadgets or the amount of money the parents would give her didn’t make any difference in the way she played with her cousins. She loved them all.
While in another country
When we went to another country and stayed there for 3 years she surely missed her cousins a lot.
Do you know what we did?
My hubby and I made friends with other parents and eventually earned their trust. There would be weekends that we would fetch their daughters (some are around the same age as my daughter but most are younger) and bring them home to stay for the night. We would also go to the parks and amusement centers.
There was another parent who would do the same thing. They would fetch our daughter on some weekends and she’d spend the night with them. It was a matter of trusting parents both ways.
My daughter still missed her cousins sure enough but she had other friends to make up for it while we were away from them.
That was then, what about now?
My daughter is already 20 years old (today to be exact). She has 2 younger brothers aged 12 and 10. We brought up our boys the way we did to their sister. We liked how our daughter grew up.
She knew how to be contented with what we have in life. She’s not so much on the material side. She’s not like her peers who are so obsessed with new gadgets. If to choose between buying an expensive gadget or appliance over a mini vacation she would definitely choose the vacation. Hands up to that!
My family also loves to watch movie together. We didn’t watch just any movie in the theater. We picked the best and waited for it to be shown. As for the rest of the movies, we watch at home.
She helped us mold her 2 brothers to value relationships with family and friends. But unlike their sister they liked to have gadgets like Xbox. But they use it as a means to play with each other. They’d always ask permission if they could bring home a friend or two to play with them.
They also look forward to having cousins visit us. Or if it’s our turn to visit we bring our Xbox so they can still all play with it.
Unlike with their sister who was brought up alone, my 2 boys only have 2 years gap so they practically played with each other. The need to visit their cousins wasn’t as strong as it used to be.
But being a family who loves to spend time with our other families we still find it best to keep up with the visits. The bonding time is also always fun time.
So what about you?
So still thinking of what to give to your kids? Stop and think twice before you buy another gadget. I’m sure your kids will be happy with it but for how long? And what about the chance to interact with other people. Are they just doing it online now?
And as for the gadgets there will be wear and tear, there will be upgrades and latest models. Can we ever keep up to that?
Having that bonding moment with other family members will surely prevent a wear and tear in your relationships. There’s no upgrades needed. The latest models could be the new additions to the family (babies anyone?)
Do you have other great ideas on what gifts to give to your kids? Please feel free to share them on the comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.
P.S. It’s my daughter’s 20th birthday today.
She’s in the office. My hubby’s at work. Her brothers are in school. And I’m at home, just finished working as VA and finishing up this post as well. It’s a normal Monday for us. What’s our gift for her? I asked her and she couldn’t think of any.
Here’s my plan. I texted her college classmate and one of her closest friend who lives just about 30 minutes away from us. I asked her if she could come later tonight after her work for dinner. It would be a surprise for my daughter. I think the last time they met was around March. Can’t wait for later. I’ll be cooking spaghetti and beef stew in a while. 🙂