I don’t know how to start. I’m still grieving. I lost one of my pet cats just last night. His name is Ryu. He has a brother named Ken who is 10 minutes older than him. Yes, we got their names from the famous Street Fighter movie.
My cousin who breeds cats gave them to us almost 4 years ago, June 2010. They were born on March 27, 2010. I got both male cats because it was my first time to have a pet and I wasn’t sure how I could handle if it were a male and a female and they would eventually have babies. So I settled for the brothers.
I remember in their second week at home I almost wanted to send them back to my cousin because I got tired looking after their mess. But in exchange of having another baby I agreed to let them stay.
Here’s the story. My husband and 3 kids still want to add another baby to our family. I was in my mid-30’s then so I didn’t want to have another baby. When I wanted to return the cats they struck me a deal – if the cats stay they won’t ask for another baby. And so that’s how the cats stayed.
More than 3 years of taking care of them, feeding them with their favorite cat food, Princess cat, bathing them once a month, bringing them to my sister’s house when we sleep there overnight, paying a friend to stay in our house to take care of them when we go out on long vacations. My kids go to school and my hubby goes to work so I stay at home doing online work with my 2 cats and 2 turtles too. Though I don’t have much interaction with the turtles that used to be 4 at first. I only need to put food in the aquarium and remove the dirty water then fill up with a clean one every once in a while.
Two weeks ago Ryu wasn’t feeling well. He was trying to pee but nothing comes out. The next day, Tuesday, he won’t drink water by himself. I bought a dropper and manually gave him water with Hydrite. That night we brought him to a pet clinic which was open for emergencies. The initial findings was Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease. The doctor said this was fatal for cats. He put a catheter and manually extracted urine which had blood. He also passed out some stones.
The doctor suggested that we confine him to the clinic so he put on a dextrose. When we left I was afraid I would lose him I cried. My husband somehow didn’t understand my sadness. He said he will get well soon. Everyday my husband called the doctor to ask for Ryu’s condition. On Friday the doctor removed the catheter and he was able to pass urine by himself. He asked us to bring him some food and if he eats it then we can bring him home the next day. And Ryu did!
On Saturday I was excited to take him home. We brought cooked chicken liver requested by the doctor. He showed us how to give it to Ryu along with the medicine. Of course, we needed to buy some medicines which were in tablet form. We had to make sure he would drink it. And Ryu was home!
He was still weak and didn’t smell good. I had to wash him up twice to lessen the odor. He was eating just a little bit and drinking water. But we had to force him to eat the chicken liver with his medicines 3 times a day.
On Monday he was able to climb on the side of the small plastic tub and drink water. That was his favorite. I let him be. The doctor said this wasn’t bad at all. So all the while I thought he was getting better. When I went out of the gate one night, he even followed me but he just slumped in the middle of the street. I thought he just didn’t want to move some more so I put him inside again.
On Tuesday he wasn’t drinking water so I had to use the dropper again. And he wasn’t eating at all anymore. All those days at home, he didn’t poop even once. My husband and I knew something was still wrong with Ryu. Wednesday was worst! He was almost not moving.
That evening I cooked fish tilapia. I know he loves to eat it. But when I put it in front of him he just smelled it but didn’t even open his mouth. I tried to force it in his mouth thinking that he was just too weak to open it but he won’t eat it at all. I gave him water through the dropper but he won’t accept it. That time I was already in tears. I knew that if he won’t eat his favorite food and won’t drink he won’t make it too long anymore.
When my husband came home he fed him with the medicine but like what he did earlier he won’t open his mouth anymore. When my husband was able to force him he gave out a cry. And I was already crying too. I knew he was in pain. He was so weak and couldn’t even move. I was terrified at the thought of losing him. My husband was already talking to me and telling me to prepare myself for what is coming. He had pet dogs before we got married and he knows this kind of situation. I didn’t know. This was my first and I couldn’t accept it.
He told me to stop crying because Ryu might just be holding on to his dear life because he felt me. He felt how sad I was. So after I cried I laid Ryu on a white shirt and told him to take a rest and go to sleep. I prayed on him. I prayed that if he will continue with his life in pain I don’t want it that way. I wanted him to have a good life here with us and if that’s not going to happen anymore then may God relieve him of his pain already. He was just lying down motionless.
My husband told me to leave Ryu there because there was nothing we could do. At one time I said we should bring him to the clinic but he said the doctor may not accept him anymore with his present condition. For all we know, the doctor let him out because he knew he couldn’t do anything to save Ryu’s life. So he better be with us on his few days left and be happy again with his brother and with his family – us. For the sake of conversation I said that he almost looked well again after he left the clinic. He even ate his food to show the doctor that we can bring him home already. Why did all those things happen but end up like this? My husband says that he might have just did what he must do so he can be home with us already. He knew what was already coming.
When I woke up this morning at 5am he was already in a used up plastic tub and covered in the clothes that we gave him that night. My husband says he fixed him up at 1am when he saw that he was already dead.
I cried a lot today. My kids cried a little bit too. Their father is the only strong person at home. He says this happens to everyone including our pets. We’ll just need to be strong. We still have Ken and we should take care of him well. And Ken was extremely close to us from the time that Ryu was in the clinic. He wanted to be always around us which wasn’t like him when Ryu was with him. Today, Ken has been “meowing” a lot. Probably looking for his brother or probably telling us that he’s still here with us.
My husband went home early afternoon because he knows how sad I am. I am grieving so much. Probably because I’m the one who stays with them the whole day. I love them so much.
I haven’t talked with anyone who’s lost a pet before and felt as much grieve as I am right now. I will eventually find one in the next days to come when I get to talk to my friends. But for now I will have to accept that Ryu is gone and will never be with us. We will take care of Ken the best way we can. But after him I don’t want to have another pet anymore. It hurts so much to me now I don’t think I can handle another loss.
I am planning to put his picture here but I can’t seem to find the courage to look at him yet.
Filipino Virtual Assistant Mom 
I know how you feel. We had a cat before, a stray cat actually whom we bath, feed, and the only cat i allowed inside our house, up to our bedroom. One day I saw her throw-up, I even cleaned the mess. Then saw her body under our sofa the following day-lifeless. I cried my heart out. Really cried. From then on I don’t want to have any pet/s. But to this day, we still have dogs and cats around. And, yes, I cry for them when they leave us permanently.